Coffee in bed...
I am still in bed, drinking my coffee. Yes, how lucky can a woman be? My husband brought me coffee in bed, and it’s not even weekend! (Love him to bits!)
Today is a busy day and to save time I decided to answer my FB messages while enjoying my coffee.
This is the first message that pops up
“Lianne, yesterday morning I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself without clothes on, and for the first time ever …. I found I was actually able to thank God for my beautiful body – imperfectly perfect. I am now much more grateful and thankful for it and how it has blessed me in every way and I will choose to now live forever grateful for how it’s been made, how unique it’s formed, and how well it’s not only served me but been a blessing to me by giving me my children and fulfilling so so many needs /desires/satisfaction etc in life …indeed another Aha moment of transforming my thoughts and feelings about myself and my value and worth! thank You !”
By the end of the message, the words are very blurry through my tears. This lady is currently doing the Blossom in Prosperity program and she attended the free Blossom in Confidence workshop of the past week, and something HUGE has shifted in her mind.
My heart is singing! This is what I want for women: to see their beauty, to find their worth, to be joyful, to live with meaning…
I stare out the window, take another sip of coffee and my mind rewinds to March 2016. It was 15 months since my business partner of 17 years emigrated, the season of 1st Solutions (our successful training company) ended, and I had no idea what was supposed to be my next step, season, business… I was terribly sad, confused, and despondent.
Day after day I sat on my bed, where I am having my coffee now, begging God for answers. “Just give me one puzzle piece, Lord, just one… I just need something to give me hope.”
And then one morning, I randomly opened my Bible and scanned the page without the motivation to read anything. My eyes caught sight of 2 words: the brokenhearted… I read Isaiah 61:1 with intent and knew I have received my first puzzle piece.
I was excited, walked to my bookshelf and 5 books ‘jumped’ out at me. I took them to my comfort spot, my bed, looked at the titles, flipped through the pages, and realised I now have 2 puzzle pieces.
But how on earth do you build a puzzle, when you do not know what the picture looks like???
My puzzle-piece journey taught me that I cannot do life on my own because my knowledge and insight are limited – especially when I don’t know what I don’t know. It is then that I need other people to give me the next puzzle piece.
But I was too proud and possibly too ashamed to acknowledge that I cannot build my life puzzle on my own…. And, this is quite hard for me to say, but I was also too stingy, not thinking that spending money (on me) is part of getting the next puzzle piece. (And how I overcame that is a story for another day).
Today, I just want to assure you, that reaching out for the next puzzle piece of YOUR life, is perfectly ok. Value yourself enough, to take that step, whatever it may look like
Spread a little (of God’s) love
I listen to Havana Brown singing “if we spread a little love, we’ll never die” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WMkUZan-oo) and I am reminded of an incident on a flight to Johannesburg.
I’d like to share it with you:
I am doing my normal “landing ritual” – pack away laptop, take out makeup purse, put lipstick on, rub cream on my hands….
A lady on the opposite side of the ‘plane, one row in front of me, gets out of her isle seat and makes eye contact with me as she turns around. With her lips she forms the words “I’d like to ask you something”. She moves into the half empty row behind me to reach me in my window seat.
“Can I perhaps use some of your lipstick? I will use my finger to put it on. I have just washed my hands” (Yes, I saw her come out of the bathroom cubicle)…
‘I have 2 lipsticks in my makeup purse, but neither colours will look good against your skin tone…’ my image consultant mind thinks, but I give her the one I just used.
“Put on some more” …I tell her.
“That looks pretty” …I hear myself say.
She responds with a soft voice:
“We are meeting a friend at the airport whom we have not seen in a very long time. I had to pack so quickly I forgot my lipstick. My husband is very ill …with cancer” (Yes, I saw him before we boarded – pale, fragile and weak. I wondered about him…)
With tear filled eyes she stretches her hand out to me: “I am going through a very tough time. He can hardly walk”. (Yes, I saw that too …just like my dad at the moment…)
Spontaneously I take her hand between both of mine and squeeze it against my cheek. Fighting my own tears I can only say “I will think of you”…
She leaves. I stare out of my little ‘plane window to God’s creation on the outside and I pray for her:
for strength, peace and that through our hands touching, I could pass on some of God’s amazing love I am so privileged to experience!
God reminded me today that ‘spreading a little love’ has a huge impact – not only on the receiver, but also on the giver…
I will keep on thinking about her!
Joy or Happiness? Like clouds with a silver or golden lining?
Is joy happiness? Is happiness joy? Is it the same thing? Are both a feeling?
Which one lasts longer?
If you research “joy vs happiness” like I did, you will be surprised to find many controversial articles and opinions on this matter.
To get some clarity in my mind I decided to look up the meaning of the words in 2 different dictionaries:
Meaning of Joy:
- the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires
- a state of happiness
- a source or cause of delight
Source Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- a feeling of great pleasure and happiness
- success or satisfaction
Source Oxford Living Dictionary
Meaning of Happiness:
- a state of well-being and contentment
- a pleasurable or satisfying experience
Source Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- a feeling of pleasure or contentment
Source Oxford Living Dictionary
Synonyms:
For joy: blessedness, bliss, gladness, happiness
For happiness: blessedness, bliss, gladness, joy
Source Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Quite interesting…
From the above dictionary definitions the two words seem to have the same meaning, but from studies and opinions by psychologists and theologists, happiness and joy is not the same thing.
Be it as it may, for me, joy and happiness are both a good feeling! A feeling that is associated with pleasure, contentment and satisfaction. A feeling I want to experience all the time.
So, when I sat down to think about an ongoing feeling of joy and happiness and how one can experience that, the following came to mind:
*The day I accepted myself for who I am, my state of (a lack of) joy and happiness changed.
The moment I made peace with whom I was created to be, I stopped stressing about being someone I will never be, doing what I am not capable of doing, and pleasing the expectations others have of me. Suddenly I was able to treasure my character traits, to acknowledge my talents and to focus on what I am good at! I felt rather proud of myself and I found ways to add value to people’s lives by being “me”.
I was content and satisfied with myself – I still feel happy and joyful about it, many years later.
*Joy and happiness is long lasting when it comes from deeper within – from your heart.
During a recent difficult time in my life, I realised that, despite my circumstances, my heart still feels joyful and happy. “How is that possible?” is a question that often came up.
I now know the answer. During those dark and fearful days, I focused on that which I could be grateful for: the privilege of waking up to birds’ song; the support of friends who cooked meals for me; the opportunity to encourage someone who also experienced difficulty, the fact that I knew what my capabilities are and where I had to draw the line….
I was, and still am, content and satisfied with my circumstances – the blessings, the privileges, the opportunities, no matter how small, show me golden lines (far more worth than silver) around the dark clouds and it is a beautiful picture.
I am joyful and happy to carry that picture in my heart – forever!
May you find your long lasting joy and happiness also through accepting and honouring who you are. You are unique. You are special. You just need to accept and believe that!